new perspectives

So, I kind of want to write about advising.
In general I'd say that you can give best advice on things you've experienced youself, but of course, there's more to that: more than just giving an opinion, but engaging in a matter and figuring out different solutions or at least ways of proceeding.

Today I had a 2 hour phonecall from someone who I don't really know that much. I have been told before that I give the impression to know what I'm doing and also being approachable and willing to help, but there's not too many people that would call me on this (maybe mainly because most of my surrounding tends to be male), except for some really close friends... So today I felt like an adviser of some kind.

The issue is probably some mixture of the Imposter Syndrome and having failed before which I can absolutely relate to (sadly enough). Some time ago after reading this post by sciencemama, I found some other things on the web, and decided for myself that I would stop this pathological mal-thinking. What really helped me in the end was that I discovered that I am not the only one. I still have these feelings but they're put in perspective, I finally feel like I belong - at least to my specific "scientific age group".

But back to topic - It took us quite a while to figure out what the real problem was, especially because this person mistrusts people in general and second guesses every word or action, and while discussing we figured out how that person could work on the issue in general in a hopefully less selfdestructive way.
Honestly, I never had that before concerning personal matters: The same feeling I sometimes have when discussing a scientific problem. It was not about finding a solution or 5, but more about understanding the matter itself - nail the problem.
I wouldn't go as far as one of my professors who used to say that nontriviality is always in the problem, that's a definition issue, I guess every mathematician and physicist would protest (since the most intuitive theorem often is the hardest to prove), but in PsychoCrapLand the solution is often in finding the underlying cause.


Uh, this is a really horrible post. Not very insightful - as I said before, I don't really like PsychoCrap, but whatever.

stunned

Wow, actually I wanted to write about something entirely different, but since I've recently decided to write less of the usual self-absorbed crap (although this is still my blog) you will now read the following:

I have always had this very naive view on academia (am I still naive if I know that I'm naive?), and this article (wonderfully criticized here and here and here and of course here and here and other places) ... speechless. It's about clothes.

Short summary in my words: Professors have to wear suits, otherwise they're not respected, blah, blah, students don't take them seriously, blah, blah...

My first thought went along Dave Bacon's post: Should I dress down now?!? (As I said, I wear skirts, heels AND mascara)

But seriously: Academia is supposed to be a place of knowledge, freedom of speech, and sans dresscode. The article in question also somehow implies that students pay for a serious lecturer seriously lecturing seriously interesting stuff. Do I need a professor to wear a tie when he explains how a cube slides down an inclined plane to believe him? And would I believe a professor with a tie telling me that it's a yellow god named Gigi that makes string theory work because he sometimes picks on them?
Of course we're taught facts mostly, but even in an undergraduate course you can easily reach the point where things aren't sorted out yet and a professor might state his personal opinion on the matter.
In less mathematical sciences this might always be the case.
So really, I thought studying means being taught the models that work, getting equipped with the tools to verify them myself and enough "knowledge" to decide in what I can believe. And if someone's really really good at all this and his peers think: Oh, that person's really smart and says mostly correct stuff, then that's how you become a professor.
I can't imagine someone saying: Uh, I love that guy's jacket, does anyone know how many papers he's published?

(yours, the nine year old idealistic me)

thoughts on driving

I drive fast. Honestly, I really don't think I'm very good at anything, but I consider myself to be a good driver. So today I feel entitled to give random bad drivers the following well meant bits of advice:

- Dear 18 year old SittingInMyHomiesCar,
Do not try to back-overtake me for revenge at speeds you can't handle. Just because I'm a girl or I did not admit that you're the king of the road and noone should drive faster than you, all this shouldn't mean that you risk your sorry little life just to show me who's got more PS - and by the way: that would be me, honey!

- Dear 40 year old MidlifeCrisisSoIGotDrunk,
Even if you're driving drunk, on drugs, on the phone, or whatever, Please make sure you can still find the right lane. Especially when the whole f***ing rest of the street is empty!!!
Do not do the following: 1) stay on the fast lane. That's a no-no, my dear. 2) Stay there and drive slower on purpose when you notice that - oh, my, all of a sudden - there's 5 cars hanging at your ass. Very bad idea. 3) Honk when finally one of your ForcedToDriveLikeDucklings can't hold himself any more, and overtakes you on your right.
Do instead consider: Just drive on the f***ing right lane, dumbass!
That's a boy!

- Dear 60 year old OhMyGoodnessShouldHaveStayedHomeTillTheRainStopped,
Do not drive on the fast lane because you believe to remember that your exit should appear on the left soon - it must be here somewhere, uh, I remember this, it can't be far now... It's just another f***ing 5 kilometres!!! Do instead follow the rules of the street and stay on the right lane!!! Or just stay at home until the rain stops!

- Dear OtherUseless18YearOld,
Do pay some respect to the other people on the street, dear. Noone likes it, when it's raining like on f***ing doomsday. But also it is not appreciated when you overtake someone and go back to your right lane in two meters distance to the other car, that his about 80 years old owner couldn't even control when he was at least seeing where he was going!!! Do try and engage in a little thinking about how much water is spread on the poor guy's windshield, just because you want to show everyone that you had 19 out of 20 points in your theoretical two weeks ago, and try to keep some distance. Tnx, babe!


Yours,
Not-A-Real-Girl-But-Making-Streets-Safer-In-A-Skirt

thoughts on chocolate

I don't like chocolate. That might not seem to be a very deep statement or a very personal thing to say, but funnily enough it will multiply your chances to know who I am by millions, though I probably won't tell people anymore for the following reason:
They tend to get offended.
Mostly I get offered chocolate by people that are eating chocolate themselves. I usually politely reject saying that I don't like chocolate too much which seems to be the worst answer of all! Not only do I refuse to help them not to consume too many calories, I also don't worship the donation of some people's favourite thing on earth so it seems.
I'm just home from a long day of fruitless attempts on RCFFMF and RCT exercises, turned on my absolutely gorgeous coffee mashine to get ready for more BeingTooDense, when my flatmate started to pity me and presented me with some chocolate. It was a really cute thing to do - which I told her - but still she seemed a little taken aback when I thankfully rejected. I do understand that people want their presents to be appreciated in every way BUT I REALLY THINK IT'S YUCKY!!! GIMME STAKE!!!