Friday, January 11, 2008


I was on the run today, and when I had lunch sitting on a bench somewhere in the city, I overheard the following bits of one side of a phone call.
A girl around 20, apparently talking to a guy:
... so you saw her yesterday? How was it? ... Oh really? ... Oh, you know, I don't want to interfere, but she told us on Wednesday, that she was definitely going to break up with you. ... (I couldn't hear anything for a while since she was walking around a little) ... Oh, you know, I'm definately not her friend. I'm not on her side or anything. ... ... Let's meet for a coffee, then we can talk a little longer. ... Are you alright? ... Come on, let's meet tonight ...

Wow! Poor guy. I'm pretty sure that this is not really the greatest way to hear that someone's going to break up with him, especially hearing it from someone who his not-yet-ex seems to have trusted and who is now hitting on him.
Life's a bitch.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

sitting in the lab

Finally I'm back in a lab. This might be the very last time I do something like this, so I'm really trying to enjoy, but...

once again: a little story.

Yesterday I hand a coax cable to one of my peers telling him where to plug it in, when my assistant says:
How bout you do that yourself? Then you can see how it feels to plug in such a cable.
? AGAIN??? First of all I have seen and plugged in more than one of these in my life, I can even differ between different sorts of cables! Secondly I've had an electronics course, accompanied by a soldering and "plugging" lab, so I even know how different cables are supposed to work.
Last but not least, when I worked at VBA I'm pretty sure that I plugged more of those coax cables than he ever will in his sorry little life.

And by the way: just because I have boobs doesn't mean that I can't handle a scope.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

no title

Once again. Long night. I'm working hard here to make AwesomeCrazyStuff happen in the end but there's always new small stuff I have to take care of.
Major Step Number One has been completed last week. But I'm not satisfied at all - well, no chance to change that now anyway.
This whole procedure will consist of three more steps taking loads of time. I really hope that my studies can sustain that without too much damage. My personal life doesn't.
(note to self: don't ever complain! (I'm not))

Saturday, January 05, 2008


- After total embarrassment over half an hour my professors let me pass and leave, I'm so relieved
- Usually a couple of days before the exam I get this feeling, everything totally makes sense and I also feel where details belong in that bigger picture. This time I only felt that the morning of the same day. Bad for sleep, and it also doesn't really help with my exam issues. So, apparantly I was not that unprepared after all, but I hope this is better next time.
- some people failed. Everytime I hear someone's failed, I get totally scared and feel like an impostor.
- I'm really exhausted, still. And I have to work on AwesomeCrazyStuff, and study for the other exams. But at least it's labweek, yay! I know this sounds weird because most people hate it, but I just can't live without some real stuff from time to time.
- Still didn't take a course on proper female behaviour, just have no time. Does anyone know any online resources?

Thursday, January 03, 2008

totally useless

I've just recieved the scores of the most useless test I've ever taken. The Test of English as a foreign language thingy. I absolutely understand that it's very important for an institute to know if their students will be able to communicate at all. Really. I do. But for me this was just a complete waste of time, money, and energy. I'm not criticizing institute policies here, I've just spent around 250 U.S. Dollars, around 100 hours - in tiny little bits for the sake of REALLY losing time, of course - and at least 300 neurons - due to a lot of banging-my-head-against-various-walls...

All this to get the confirmation that my English is alright.


The exam is soon. I was never ever so badly prepared, well at least not since I'm out of school.
The last two weeks were horrible - spiked with nice intermezzos, but overall really not cool at all. I couldn't really study, eventough I'm very interested in the field - thought about doing that for the rest of my life a while ago - I just can't concentrate. At all. It's not that I couldn't set my priorities, there were and are just so many other things I have to take care of. And now I've run out of time. Guess this will be the first failed exam.
Ok, that sounds fucking desperate. But that's exactly what I am.

Plus the typical pre-exam clumsiness has set in. I keep on running into doorframes, spilling coffee over myself, hitting my head on whatever comes close enough, being so distracted that I forget why I call someone, walk to the bookshelf, or stand in the kitchen. Best example today: I threw away a pair of socks instead of putting them on.

For half an hour I've been sitting over this plot. There's apparently about 30 interesting things you could deduce from it, and I just can't get myself to figure out one.

I need the Tardis, or the Enterprise, or just like that: more time.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

happy f***ing new year!

So, NC, happy new year!! I had such a great night!! What did you do yesterday?
Hmmm. Let's see. What I'm doing (with my life)
- study
- notice that VeryImportantStuff I had sent the 21st (!!!) had still not arrived
- make phone calls
- panic
- get mail that stuff arrived
- be relieved
- study
- 0:00 drink last bit of wine left in fridge
- study
- got to bed at 9 am
- stood up 2 pm
- study
- get mails that AwesomeCrazyStuff needs some more immediate attention
- try not to panic
- get back to studying
- get mail that LittleLessImportantStuff next week is not going to work out as I thought
- be pissed off
- get back to studying
- notice that still pissed off
- panic because not able to concentrate
- study
- make tea, listen to very loud music on ipod to not wake anyone, and post

Yeah. Happy new year.

It's half past three and still I don't seem to be able to concentrate. I constantly have to think about the stuff I have to do after the exam, as in: learning for the other exams. And all that other crap. I need a secretary. ASAP.