study habits

After working through the night I'm finally drinking a glass of wine before going to bed. Sun's already up and my neighbours who are just having breakfast are watching me. Weird, one could think they'd be used to it by now.

things that matter.

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"I dunno, press the button and find out."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

Wow, time is supposed to "pass by at constant velocity" (I put it in "", just an analogy, please noone shoot me), but to me it seems like I last posted yesterday. Probably because nothing really happened except for studying a lot and (up to now) passing exams. Well, that's not conpletely true: I've been embarrassing myself. Twice in public and just now all by myself.

Let's not get into how, it's physics and my time-speed thingy must suffice to display how bad I am at talking physics.
What's more intriguing: Do I really value my own opinion so much that I can embarrass myself infront of myself?

UPDATE:
Well, also I've completed the major step #2 of the AwesomeCrazyStuffProcedure. But that's really all that happened.
Oh, and the Mexican requested special appearance in my blog. Here it was.

overheard

I was on the run today, and when I had lunch sitting on a bench somewhere in the city, I overheard the following bits of one side of a phone call.
A girl around 20, apparently talking to a guy:
... so you saw her yesterday? How was it? ... Oh really? ... Oh, you know, I don't want to interfere, but she told us on Wednesday, that she was definitely going to break up with you. ... (I couldn't hear anything for a while since she was walking around a little) ... Oh, you know, I'm definately not her friend. I'm not on her side or anything. ... ... Let's meet for a coffee, then we can talk a little longer. ... Are you alright? ... Come on, let's meet tonight ...

Wow! Poor guy. I'm pretty sure that this is not really the greatest way to hear that someone's going to break up with him, especially hearing it from someone who his not-yet-ex seems to have trusted and who is now hitting on him.
Life's a bitch.

sitting in the lab

Finally I'm back in a lab. This might be the very last time I do something like this, so I'm really trying to enjoy, but...

once again: a little story.

Yesterday I hand a coax cable to one of my peers telling him where to plug it in, when my assistant says:
How bout you do that yourself? Then you can see how it feels to plug in such a cable.
? AGAIN??? First of all I have seen and plugged in more than one of these in my life, I can even differ between different sorts of cables! Secondly I've had an electronics course, accompanied by a soldering and "plugging" lab, so I even know how different cables are supposed to work.
Last but not least, when I worked at VBA I'm pretty sure that I plugged more of those coax cables than he ever will in his sorry little life.

And by the way: just because I have boobs doesn't mean that I can't handle a scope.

no title

Once again. Long night. I'm working hard here to make AwesomeCrazyStuff happen in the end but there's always new small stuff I have to take care of.
Major Step Number One has been completed last week. But I'm not satisfied at all - well, no chance to change that now anyway.
This whole procedure will consist of three more steps taking loads of time. I really hope that my studies can sustain that without too much damage. My personal life doesn't.
(note to self: don't ever complain! (I'm not))

passed

- After total embarrassment over half an hour my professors let me pass and leave, I'm so relieved
- Usually a couple of days before the exam I get this feeling, everything totally makes sense and I also feel where details belong in that bigger picture. This time I only felt that the morning of the same day. Bad for sleep, and it also doesn't really help with my exam issues. So, apparantly I was not that unprepared after all, but I hope this is better next time.
- some people failed. Everytime I hear someone's failed, I get totally scared and feel like an impostor.
- I'm really exhausted, still. And I have to work on AwesomeCrazyStuff, and study for the other exams. But at least it's labweek, yay! I know this sounds weird because most people hate it, but I just can't live without some real stuff from time to time.
- Still didn't take a course on proper female behaviour, just have no time. Does anyone know any online resources?

totally useless

I've just recieved the scores of the most useless test I've ever taken. The Test of English as a foreign language thingy. I absolutely understand that it's very important for an institute to know if their students will be able to communicate at all. Really. I do. But for me this was just a complete waste of time, money, and energy. I'm not criticizing institute policies here, I've just spent around 250 U.S. Dollars, around 100 hours - in tiny little bits for the sake of REALLY losing time, of course - and at least 300 neurons - due to a lot of banging-my-head-against-various-walls...

All this to get the confirmation that my English is alright.

crisis

The exam is soon. I was never ever so badly prepared, well at least not since I'm out of school.
The last two weeks were horrible - spiked with nice intermezzos, but overall really not cool at all. I couldn't really study, eventough I'm very interested in the field - thought about doing that for the rest of my life a while ago - I just can't concentrate. At all. It's not that I couldn't set my priorities, there were and are just so many other things I have to take care of. And now I've run out of time. Guess this will be the first failed exam.
Ok, that sounds fucking desperate. But that's exactly what I am.

Plus the typical pre-exam clumsiness has set in. I keep on running into doorframes, spilling coffee over myself, hitting my head on whatever comes close enough, being so distracted that I forget why I call someone, walk to the bookshelf, or stand in the kitchen. Best example today: I threw away a pair of socks instead of putting them on.

For half an hour I've been sitting over this plot. There's apparently about 30 interesting things you could deduce from it, and I just can't get myself to figure out one.

I need the Tardis, or the Enterprise, or just like that: more time.

happy f***ing new year!

So, NC, happy new year!! I had such a great night!! What did you do yesterday?
Hmmm. Let's see. What I'm doing (with my life)
- study
- notice that VeryImportantStuff I had sent the 21st (!!!) had still not arrived
- make phone calls
- panic
- get mail that stuff arrived
- be relieved
- study
- 0:00 drink last bit of wine left in fridge
- study
- got to bed at 9 am
- stood up 2 pm
- study
- get mails that AwesomeCrazyStuff needs some more immediate attention
- try not to panic
- get back to studying
- get mail that LittleLessImportantStuff next week is not going to work out as I thought
- be pissed off
- get back to studying
- notice that still pissed off
- panic because not able to concentrate
- study
- make tea, listen to very loud music on ipod to not wake anyone, and post

Yeah. Happy new year.


UPDATE
It's half past three and still I don't seem to be able to concentrate. I constantly have to think about the stuff I have to do after the exam, as in: learning for the other exams. And all that other crap. I need a secretary. ASAP.

hmm.

Your results:
You are Supergirl

Supergirl 95% Robin 85% The Flash 75% Wonder Woman 70% Superman 70% Spider-Man 60% Green Lantern 60% Iron Man 55% Batman 45% Catwoman 25% Hulk 25%

Lean, muscular and feminine. Honest and a defender of the innocent.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

NC's Christmas Tale

24th - What a wonderful day.
Yeah.
The morning didn't even start that bad. I drove to my mum's office, since she had to work, we had breakfast, and then I was kept from reading ExperimentalSubject-Book by one of her coworkers who filled me in to the newest exciting stuff that's going on - it was hilarious!
Also, the coffee was really good so I drove us all the way to CrazyFamily. I like CrazyFamily, I also like the attachments to CrazyFamily - what I don't like is CrazySuburbia where they live.
CrazySuburbia has a lot of nice inhabitants but there's also the AnnoyingFamily.
One member of the AnnoyingFamily was once my flatmate when he worked in my city, and he was pretty easy going and cool, I just never saw much of him. The rest of his family has some really annoying dynamics going on, I wouldn't care too much about that if not - one sunny day - I was made the newest f***ing suburbia-crap-talk-about. So, here comes a little story:

One sunny day during exam preparation NC sits at her kitchen table when all of a sudden her phone rings. NC of course is delighted to hear from AnnoyingYoungerBrother who is just studying for his finals and figures it would be nice to know what this one professor of his would ask.
Since that professor was once here in my city, AnnoyingYoungerBrother goes: Oh, NC! You know so many people (he must have forgotten that I'm a physicist), I'm sure you could organize some protocols that were written by that professor's former students (if time allows), I need them in two weeks (latest)!
NC: -
AnnoyingYoungerBrother: You know, this is really important!
NC: I see...
AnnoyingYoungerBrother: I'm sure you'll manage. Bye!
NC: -
Phone: beeep.
Of course, NC can spend some time finding out that there's even two Student Organizations for this ReallyExtremelyFarFromMine-Field - light years further than ReallyCoolFarFromMine-Field - and NC can still see no plausible explanation for that. These two organizations don't answer NC's emails, so one rainy day NC decides to go visit them in person. Both tell NC that there's no such thing as protocols for this specific subfield of ReallyExtremelyFarFromMine-Field after searching through their folders for each at least 15 min.
Disappointed NC calls AnnoyingYoungerBrother.
NC: Hi, AnnoyingYoungerBrother, this is NC. I'm really sorry, but I have to bring bad -
AnnoyingYoungerBrother: Oh, no, you forgot? I told you this was urgent!
NC: No, no, I didn't forget, these protocols just don't exist.
AnnoyingYoungerBrother: Oh come on, I know that there's this OfficialPerson who has them. I'm just in DifferentCountry and can't get them.
NC: Oh, I'll see what I can do then.
AnnoyingYoungerBrother: Bye!
NC: B..
Phone: beeep.
The next day NC wants to know more about OfficialPerson and after some research she finds out that OfficialPerson is in no way related to NC'sUniversity, but that NC'sParlament has elected OfficialPerson to be the highest jurisdiction on recourses and such, so has all the official protocols of very final Finals. NC is smart enough to figure out all by herself that these are not thought to be a learning aid for prospective ReallyExtremelyFarFromMine-FieldProfessionals and just when she wants to call AnnoyingYoungerBrother her phone rings.
NC's mum: Uh, NC, honey! I just got a weird call from CrazyFamilyMember. OtherCrazyFamilyMember told CrazyFamilyMember that MotherOfAnnoyingYoungerBrother heard from AnnoyingYoungerBrother that you're not willing to help him with some F***StupidStuff that I didn't understand because I was distracted because she actually made someone get me out of ReallyImportantMeeting.
NC: Oh, no, mommy, I'm sorry. There's just no legal way I could help AnnoyingYoungerBrother.
NC's mum: AnnoyingFamily is really annoying.
NC: Yeah, mommy, I'm really sorry that interfered with your job. I'll handle it.
NC's mum: Ok dear. Gotta go back to work.
NC: Bye.
(I put the last two lines in to also let you read about the nice part of my tale)
NC punches phone number into phone,
Phone: Ringring
AnnoyingYoungerBrother: Hi, NC. Did you get them?
NC: Are you sure you meant OfficialPerson, because OfficialPerson does only ReallyOfficialStuff, and the two student organizations really have nothing for your subfield.
AnnoyingYoungerBrother: Oh, just go to OfficialPerson (AnnoyingYoungerBrother clearly didn't understand what NC said).
NC: But...
Phone: beeep.
So in the end NC actually calls OfficialPerson'sSecretary and is offered a major smackdown for free. Major. As in how-f***ing-stupid-are-you-?-smackdown-major and decides to leave it at that before going to jail.
NC tries to call AnnoyingYoungerBrother but he doesn't respond, so she writes an sms and never gets an answer.

End of story?

Well, not really. Today CrazyFamilyMember told me she heard from MotherOfAnnoyingYoungerBrother, that he had said that I either didn't want to help him or that I hadn't understood what he wanted because I was distracted playing on my computer. Yeah, I can remember that I wrote down that professor's name and the subfield and that I tried to google both. Really didn't know that doing REALLY-UNTHANKFUL-ANNOYING-BRAT's research is now considered computer gaming.
CrazyFamilyMembers also filled me in today that AnnoyingFamily is coming for lunch tomorrow.
Eeeek!

GoodOldFamilyFriends were here for dinner. One part of them is going to die of cancer. We had great food and great conversation and almost totally forgot about that, but now I feel totally fucked up. At least we didn't have the usual shitty family drama - but still: Christmas sucks.
It's now AnnoyingFamily'sArrival minus ten minutes.

UPDATE:
It's now Wednesday.
Yesterday I managed to bite my tongue and smalltalked with the less annoying members of AnnoyingFamily. The rest of the day I spent studying (don't pity me, that's how I evaded newest CrazySuburbia gossip).
Yesterday evening CrazyCousin's Girlfriend's Aunt collapsed. She is braindead and right now undergoing harvesting surgery.
Christmas sucks.

yucky

...really!!
If I had thought last week was crazy, this one is even worse. And today (which is not even halfway over)... today:
Today's actually supposed to be last day of school, last fun before hard core studying. Last courses, last seminar, last slide, coffee, run to station to get some food, run to catch train, eat lunch on train, run to some office, get official documentation, run on bus, drive home to get other documents, get phone call from flatmate searching for keys, change from fancy skirt and pullover into good ol' baggy pants and hoodie, take ladder, go to waste container, climb in waste container to search for keys, search for keys (delta t: 30 min, Temperature: 269 K, NC: disgusted), climb out of container, panic about keys, take ladder, go back into appartment, get rid of clothes, turn on World'sBestCoffeeMashine, take coffee and laptop, and post.
Still to do:
go to postal office, send documents, go back to university, have beer with peers, and meet some other people for drinks.

Right now I can't decide if I:
- will ever stand up again
- have time to take a shower
- smell
- only feel smelly
- can ever eat mango again (you haven't seen what I've seen today)


Don't you also have this funny feeling that my real name is Guybrush Threepwood?

a post

Just a little bit about me. Not a particularly good idea, considered that this can be read by everyone in the pretty-darn huge world wide web (Remind me to tell about the guy that constantly said pretty-darn and annoyed me beyond belief in only something like 5 hours. Just don't ever say pretty-darn something if you don't really absolutely mean it. Please!).
Can anyone tell me if that comma after idea is correct? That wasn't even a real sentence, oh, whatever.
So back to - me. Right now I'm sitting at the table in my living room, it's transparent because it's made of glass - which by the way is an amorph solid state of a relatively simple silicate - and we've got six chairs around it: one's blue, one's black, and the others are different shades of petrol and greyish blue. And I'm working on ACS. And I should continue.

staying awake

so, after listening to alot of other stuff, I've started with Powderfinger. If anyone's interested, I'll tell you which album. Keeps me awake.
Tried to do some stuff for ACS today, took loads of time. Gotta get vacation (how bout tomorrow in five years) or at least sleep.
Saw a good old friend today. He's fine, which makes me really happy.
Life's good, just need more time...

crazy weeks

Wow. Week's over. I'm still working hard to make AwesomeCrazyStuff happen, but exam days are near and I really want to start exclusively focusing on that. And I know already that some of the ACS preparation is severely going to interfere then. So, to summarize: I'm constantly drawn between doing as much as I can to speed up preparation, but more and more small but timeconsuming tasks are accumulating, and trying to keep up with my courses. I'm not doing well on that. Especially ReallyCoolFarFromMyField class has suffered alot, because, ya know, physics comes first. Problem is just, that I'll have an exam there as well, I don't even have a date for that yet, and no time to learn for it anyway.

I had actually written a post about regrets but it was so not me - I couldn't put it here. I don't regret anything yet. I'm just so scared that I might. Why can't my future self appear and tell me how it's going to work out, so I can see if all the trouble's really worth it?

Whatif, blah, blah, whatif, blah, maybe, blah, blah, some more pathetic crap, blah, blah, blah.

arrrrrgh.

Little bonus:
I was invited to a bit of wine and when I arrived someone greeted me with: what the f*** are you doing here?
In my current state the only thing I could answer was: I don't know. I have absolutely no idea.
Then I walked on.

yeah.. right

?
brndd

I made my mom do the spice test. She just called me and told me she was chiltepin pepper.
I'm so boring.

thoughts on driving

I drive fast. Honestly, I really don't think I'm very good at anything, but I consider myself to be a good driver. So today I feel entitled to give random bad drivers the following well meant bits of advice:

- Dear 18 year old SittingInMyHomiesCar,
Do not try to back-overtake me for revenge at speeds you can't handle. Just because I'm a girl or I did not admit that you're the king of the road and noone should drive faster than you, all this shouldn't mean that you risk your sorry little life just to show me who's got more PS - and by the way: that would be me, honey!

- Dear 40 year old MidlifeCrisisSoIGotDrunk,
Even if you're driving drunk, on drugs, on the phone, or whatever, Please make sure you can still find the right lane. Especially when the whole f***ing rest of the street is empty!!!
Do not do the following: 1) stay on the fast lane. That's a no-no, my dear. 2) Stay there and drive slower on purpose when you notice that - oh, my, all of a sudden - there's 5 cars hanging at your ass. Very bad idea. 3) Honk when finally one of your ForcedToDriveLikeDucklings can't hold himself any more, and overtakes you on your right.
Do instead consider: Just drive on the f***ing right lane, dumbass!
That's a boy!

- Dear 60 year old OhMyGoodnessShouldHaveStayedHomeTillTheRainStopped,
Do not drive on the fast lane because you believe to remember that your exit should appear on the left soon - it must be here somewhere, uh, I remember this, it can't be far now... It's just another f***ing 5 kilometres!!! Do instead follow the rules of the street and stay on the right lane!!! Or just stay at home until the rain stops!

- Dear OtherUseless18YearOld,
Do pay some respect to the other people on the street, dear. Noone likes it, when it's raining like on f***ing doomsday. But also it is not appreciated when you overtake someone and go back to your right lane in two meters distance to the other car, that his about 80 years old owner couldn't even control when he was at least seeing where he was going!!! Do try and engage in a little thinking about how much water is spread on the poor guy's windshield, just because you want to show everyone that you had 19 out of 20 points in your theoretical two weeks ago, and try to keep some distance. Tnx, babe!


Yours,
Not-A-Real-Girl-But-Making-Streets-Safer-In-A-Skirt

Your Score: Saffron

You scored 75% intoxication, 25% hotness, 100% complexity, and 50% craziness!

You are Saffron!

Those other spices have nothing on you! You're warm, smart, and you make people feel really good (and with no side-effects!). You can be difficult to get to know and require a lot of those who try, but you're so totally worth it. *Sigh*

go ahead, take the test yourself!